Have you heard the news about the Siracha plant possibly being shut down due to the unbearable smells and stinging eyes it is creating for its neighbors?  Well, if not – be afraid, be VERY afraid – because if that happens, it’s about as close the apocalypse as we’ve come.  Screw the locus and earthquakes… no Siracha???  I might as well rip up my clothes and leave my car in the middle of the street while I walk to “Old New York” in search of water – because this, my friends, is the end of days.

In order to celebrate (read: possible MOURN) my favorite condiment, I went to the store and purchased 5 big bottles.  Don’t judge me… I consider myself more “Doomsday Peppper” than “Hoarder”.

After I rolled around on my bed with the bottles… I mean hid them under my bed in a locked box with a password only Gidget and I know… I put together a little dish I’ve seen swarming all over Pinterest recently, and now I know why. These Crockpot Korean Tacos are about as easy as it gets and wowzers,  they are gooooooooooooood.  I topped them with a tiny drizzle of sesame oil, some low fat cheese, asian pickled cabbage (or you could grab some kimchi at the store), a creamy umani sauce and Siracha (duh).

So many leftovers, so I froze almost all the rest for another quick meal down the road. Two meals, one night – VICTORY!!

They say a way to man’s heart is through his stomach.  I agree with that statement whole stomachly.  However, there are different routes you can use to get there.  I, for one, know that I want to create meals that fill him up, but also won’t fill out my ass as much as it fills up his heart.  That means putting together “secretly” healthy dishes that don’t taste like wheatgrass on top of hay.  That route is called the scenic route… he’s happy and unknowingly healthy.

However, every once in while I just like to cut the healthy food foreplay and put together a meal that gets right to the what I know he’ll remember when that 21 year old walks by and gives him a little grin.  I call that meal, The Husband Catcher.  You really can’t go wrong with a grilled Filet Mignon, topped with caramelized blue cheese, mushrooms, and onions over sauteed garlic spinach. dayyyyyyyyymmmm girl.

Having a job is big part of why I liked our recent trip to Joshua Tree.  In past trips, I’ve stood around holding my sleeping bag while everyone else sets up and I just spin in circles looking for someway to be helpful.  But in the end, it just ends up being me and my sleeping bag spinning around in circles off to the side. Having the job of Chef Nature’s Miracle, made me feel useful… and full of quality food.

If you’ve never been to Joshua Tree, it really is amazing.  It almost feels like you’re on the moon.  Amazing boulder/rock formations coming out of the ground that you can climb all over and see for miles and miles and miles.  It’s huge and stars at night make you feel like you’re in a planetarium.   Soooooo cool.  You know what wasn’t cool (but just totally tells you so much about what Adam and I do when no one is around to roll their eyes), we listened to U2′s Joshua Tree album more than we did in the 90′s.  We’re, like so…. cliche.

So, here’s the breakdown of all the meals we created during our trip.  In case you missed it – yesterday’s post gives you the rundown of all the prep work you can do in about an hour the night before.  So worth it! I made the recommendation to bag each meal’s ingredients in individual shopping bags in the cooler (so you can just grab and go).  I’ve listed out each meal with those bags in mind, for easy planning.

Last but not least, before we dive into it.  COOLEST CAMPING FIND (via Pinterest, obbbvvss) – a gallon water jug and a head lamp = amazing ambient light!  We tried it and it worked.  You MUST do this your next trip out! Check out the picture at the very bottom.

Recipes and Ingredients after the jump:

Night 1 Dinner - Soy-Marinated Sirloin Skewers with Grilled Asparagus and Best Ever Pasta Salad (pictured above)

Bag 1 Ingredients: 

• Overnight Marinaded Sirloin and Vegetables
• Night Before Best Ever Pasta Salad
• 1/2 bunch of asparagus
• olive oil* (stored in a small tupperware cup during night-before prep)
• lemon pepper seasoning
• 4 skewers
• Heavy Duty Tin Foil

Preparation:

Submerge the skewers in melted ice water in the cooler up to 2 hours before prep begins.

Preheat the grill.  Cut the stems off the asparagus and drizzle with oil olive and lemon pepper seasoning. Set aside.

Skew soaked skewer sticks with beef and veggies that were marinaded the night before.  Grill for about 8-10 minutes, turning once at halfway. If you can fit your asparagus on the grill, add asparagus with 2 minutes remaining.  If you don’t have room, grill asparagus while skewers are resting for 2-3 minutes.

Hopefully the marinade with have provided enough flavor for you to leave that bbq sauce in the cooler.  But if not, grab it!

Morning 1 Breakfast: Hungryman Camp Breakfast

Bag 2 Ingredients:

On top of the sausages, add a handful of hash browns, an egg or two, and diced tomato and green onion if you like. Salt & pepper to taste. You can also add Cajun spice, or Old Bay spice or whatever spice your posse likes.

This weekend Adam and I were walking the dogs and we took a new route. As we turned the corner to make our way up our street I turned to talk to him and rammed my sandal-clad foot into a cactus. To add insult to injury, I was turning to hear what he had said, which was… “Watch out for the catcus.”   After pulling the spines out of my toes I limped up the street with a bloody foot and big question:  We live is an urban area of a southern california beach town… why is there a cactus in the middle of the sidewalk??  Some things just don’t make sense.

For dinner, Adam requested a big fave, since we got back from our first trip to Cabo in March – Steak and Shrimp fajitas.  Midway through the meal, I realized I had missed an incredible opportunity for revenge.  Cactus Salsa.  Next time… next time, Mr. Cactus. Payback is a bitch.

Check out tonight’s kitchen creation – you can keep this lower carb by eliminating the tortillas and tossing this over some chopped romaine.

Tomorrow I’ve got a great no excuses workout to share – no equipment needed, done in 30 minutes!

Shrimp and Carne Asada Fajitas:

Steak and Shrimp Fajitas

Ingredients:

• 1 package of Carne Asada (Trader Joe’s has great pre-marinated packages)
• 1/2 pound large shrimp, peeled with tails removed
• 1 organic red bell pepper, cut into thin strips
• 1/2 large onion, cut into thin strips
• 2 limes
• 1 tsp. cumin, divided
• 1 tsp. chili powder, divided
• 1 tsp. cayenne pepper, divided
• 1 tsp. garlic salt, divided
• 2 avocados, pitted, peeled and mashed
• medium fresh salsa
• small flour or corn fajita-sized tortillas
• salt and pepper

Directions:

Prepare guacamole by combining the avocados, juice of one lime, salt, pepper, and 2-3 large spoonfuls of salsa.  Adjust seasoning to taste. Set aside. Preheat the grill to high heat.

Combine shrimp, juice from one lime, spices (1/2 tsp. of each) in a bowl and set aside.

Toss onions and peppers in spices (1/2 tsp. of each).  Saute onions and peppers in olive oil until almost tender, about five minutes.   Reduce heat to low.  Grill carne asada on hot grill 2 minutes per side.  Remove from heat and tent with foil to keep warm.

Add shrimp to pan with saute veggies, increase heat to medium/ medium high and cook through, about three minutes.  Be careful not to overcook.

Place on serving platter with steamed tortillas, light sour cream, guacamole, light cheese and salsa.  Dig in!

Has anyone ever played the drinking game “Roxanne” ?  My assumption is that if you’re reading this blog, you have.  Well, at boot camp this week, our insane trainer (Hi Shantille!), decided to suck everything fun out of what used to be the most sure-fire way for me to get A.) A brain freeze B.) A blackout C.) A hangover, and made it into a 3 minute full body workout game. There are times in life when you realize you’ve changed, you’ve grown-up (even if it was on accident and just a tiny bit), and you’re onto another chapter.  One of those times was this week, during “Roxanne.”

So, are you up for a serious challenge?  Here’s how it goes: Grab The Police’s “Roxanne,” turn up your speakers and position yourself in a plank.  Whenever Sting says, “Roxanne,” you do a push-up; whenever he says “Red Light,” you do a plank knee tuck.  Throughout every other part of the song, you’ll be holding your plank.  As you know, verse 2 and 3 are really when you either get incredibly drunk (me 6 years ago) or when you want to vomit  from exhaustion (me 3 days ago). Okay,  go try it now. Ryan and I will wait…

HOLY HELL, eh? But kind of awesome too, huh?  Welcome to your new chapter.

Speaking of The Police, I’d like to arrest this dinner for being so damn good. This meal is so sneaky – it’s low-carb, high protein, gluten-free AND you significant other/roommate/Kramer-like neighbor will never suspect it’s healthy.  What a snnnnnnneeeaakkky mom!  If you’ve got 20 minutes (from start to plate), you’ve got dinner that people will high five you for.

Mexican Zucchini Skillet with Carne Asada

Mexican Zucchini Skillet:

Ingredients: 

• 1 garlic clove, finely chopped
• 1 tbsp extra virgin olive oil
• 1 lb zucchini, diced
• 1 large tomato, cored, seeded and diced
• 1 green onion, thinly sliced
• 1 tbsp minced fresh cilantro
• 1 tsp minced pickled jalapeño
• 1/2 cup crumbled queso blanco (or queso fresco, cotija or feta)
• 1/2 avocado, cubed
• fresh lime juice, to taste
• salt, to taste
• freshly ground black pepper, to taste

Directions:

Cook the garlic in oil in a large skillet over medium heat 1 minute, stirring until sizzling. Add zucchini and cook stirring occasionally, about 3 minutes or until slightly softened. Add the tomato and green onion and cook about 3 minutes.

Remove skillet from heat and add cilantro, jalapeño and lime juice. Season with salt and pepper to taste and top with queso blanco and avocado.  Serve hot.

When you add the tomatoes, have your dinner partner throw the carne asada onto a high heat grill.  Cook 2 minutes each side and cut into strips, served over the mexican zucchini!

… said no guy, ever.  However, I’m talking about the four wheel monstrosities that crowd up the roadway and literally DRIVE YOU OFF THE ROAD when they decide that the left lane seems more happenin’.  On my way to boot camp today, one of these army tanks came careening at me, forcing me to nearly make a car faceplant into the shoulder barricade.  It’s at that moment when I wished I could transform my car into a Monster Truck and literally drive up and over him with the words “Hostile Territory” dramatically airbrushed on my bumper.

And here’s my question to the driver of this vehicle: Where are your friends?  Ya know, the ones that should tell you that buying an army tank that you paint iridescent green and put chrome wheels on is not a cool move.  Especially because those wheels will tip everyone off to the fact that you, my friend, are not going into any off-road combat situations anytime soon.  But… I digress.

Onto tonight’s meal – I must say that Zucchini Boats are in major rotation ’round these parts this summer.  It’s a great way to cram in all the delicious flavors that you love in a low carb boat of goodness. (And I stuff my boats like I used to stuff my bra in 7th grade…heavily). Bonus points: This recipe makes enough for leftovers for lunch all week.

Tonight’s titillating treats are the Oooey Gooey Stuffed Zucchini Boats:

Adapted from Cinnamon Spice and Everything Nice

Ingredients:

• 3 medium zucchini (about 8 inches)
• 1 pound ground turkey (or 93% lean ground beef)
• 1 small onion, chopped
• 1/2 cup chopped fresh mushrooms
• 1/2 cup chopped sweet red pepper
• 1/2 cup chopped green pepper
• 1.5 cup (6 ounces) shredded pepper jack cheese (I don’t do reduced fat becuase I don’t think it melts well – but you can!)
• Salt and pepper to taste
• 1 tablespoon reduced fat butter or margarine
• 1 tablespoon all-purpose flour
• 1 cup skim milk
• 1 tablespoon Dijon mustard